Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops