Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Raveena Thandhan

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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