a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Justin Bieber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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