how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

A man and a woman are happily married. The die

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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