What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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I've got a boner

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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