What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Chikin nuggets

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops