your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Justin's life

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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