Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

Why did the chicken cross the road It didint make it across

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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