What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Woman Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I tell an anti joke!.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I share two rooms with my mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops