Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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Wheelchair high jump

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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