Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

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Knock Knock.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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