What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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