roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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*insert joke here*

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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