so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

thumb_up thumb_down -44

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +47

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops