- Anti Joke

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Looks through the peephole.

Have you heard the tale of the black knight on the black horse? Well, the black knight on the black horse rode up to the castle of the king and was stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the ruby from the ruby dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the ruby dragon and the ruby dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your ruby so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and decides to give the black knight on the black horse the ruby (it was a kind dragon). So the black knight on the black horse rides back to the castle and is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the emerald from the emerald dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the emerald dragon and the emerald dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your emerald so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and decides to give the black knight on the black horse the emerald (it was a kind dragon). So the black knight on the black horse rides back to the castle and is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and the emerald from the emerald dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her if you can bring me the diamond from the diamond dragon.” So the black knight on the black horse travels for miles and miles over deserts and through woods and up mountains till he finds the diamond dragon and the diamond dragon calls out, “who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I want your diamond so I can marry the princess.” So the dragon thinks about it and says no. So they fight for three days till the black knight on the black horse slays the diamond dragon and rides back to the castle with the diamond. He is once again stopped by a guard who calls out, “Who goes there!?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse and I’m here to see the King!” So the guard lets him through and the King calls out, “Who goes there?” and the black knight on the black horse replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, I’ve brought you the ruby from the ruby dragon and the emerald from the emerald dragon and the diamond from the diamond dragon and I want to marry your daughter the princess.” So the King thinks about it and finally decides, “OK I’ll let you marry her, go upstairs and ask her.” So the black knight on the black horse goes upstairs and knocks on the princess’s door and she calls out, “Who goes there?” He replies, “I am the black knight on the black horse, will you marry me?” and she said, “No.”

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

a black man, spanish man, and white man all fall off a building. and as they fall, i wonder: why are you laughing?

Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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