Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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Pickles

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A man walks into a bar.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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women playing football?

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Knock knock Come in!

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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