An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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fart

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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