How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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A fish walks into a bar

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25

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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SAY

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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