Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

Penis.

Three baby seals walk into a club...

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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