There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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The Oakland Raiders

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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