What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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