Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

dont you love porch monkeys? no.

Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

What african eat for christmas Sand.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

dyslexic's Untie

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

Ask me if im a tree? No

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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