What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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