Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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