A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you get Pikachu on a Bus? Pikachu Is A Fictional Charecter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A car walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

sadf

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops