Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

No soap radio

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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