A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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