(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

BUT HWY?

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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