What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Womens rights

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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hrih

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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