Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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