Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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