How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

If youre African, why are you white?

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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