Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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know whats funnier than 24? 25.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops