An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Where do bananas come from? Mexico

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -113

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +120

How Long is a Chinese name.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

equality for women

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops