How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops