Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

minorities

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

A possesed goat: "moo"

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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