LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Politics

thumb_up thumb_down +5

23

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Albino African Americans

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops