I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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A elementary school child was waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come. All of the sudden, the bus comes around the corner, pulls up, stops and he gets in.

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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