Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

thumb_up thumb_down +2

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two guys walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops