The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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