Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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the holocaust

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops