- Anti Joke

david your girlfriend has a nice ass

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

charlie sheen losing

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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