Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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