Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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