"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

Lil Wayne's rapping career

How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

Has u seen my grammar?

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

The Earth is a nice place to live.

What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

What did the dog say to the house? Roof

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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