What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Justin Bieber

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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