Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Roses are Red ?And sometimes yellow ? My mother is mellow ? Billy you have cancer ?

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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