Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Women's rights

Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

Whats red and dirty? Her period

Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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