How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops