Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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