Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'd like to make a withdraw

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Brain fart

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops